Saturday, June 30, 2012

Our Adoption Journey - Part 3

Once we signed with the agency the fun started.  We were asked to read several books to familiarize ourselves with adoption as a whole and we started what is called the Home Study process. 

Our favorite book in the mix was Dear Birth Mom – it is a wonderful book that gives great insight into the feelings associated to closed adoptions along with semi-open adoptions and fully disclosed adoptions.  It opened our eyes to the reality of the birth parents and their feelings and grief.  It also helped us to understand the benefits of having our future child know their birth parents.  It is a fear of many adoptive parents that if the birth parents know them and stay in contact they will eventually want the child back.  While this is a genuine fear, it has been over-dramatized by the media.  Adoption comes at a cost for all involved, but it is a choice and we were learning that contact can really be a benefit for all involved.

So back to the Home Study process.  It started with filling out a bunch of paperwork with questions about our past, present, and future.  Our jobs, our income, our families, our home, our debt, our educations, our health, etc, etc, etc.  After filling these questionairres out we “got” to meet with our social worker who delved deep into our personal lives.  We also had to have reference letters completed by several friends along with employment confirmation and a verification of our health via our physician’s office.  Oh and I forgot to mention that we had to get fingerprinted – and because we had lived out of state 4 years and 11 months before (5-years is the cut off J) they had to check both Michigan and New York records. Not to be too graphic, but I felt like I was being probed in every orifice. 

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the concept of licensing and gaining assurance that the adoptive parents are safe and secure…but why is it that everyday women get pregnant, carry a child, and give birth without anyone asking them these questions.  I think I said more than once during the process that if the hospitals had to verify all of this information before parents could bring home their child, we would have hospitals full of babies.  Our final visit with the social worker was at our home so that she could check it out.  In the end, everything went smoothly.  The agency was really helpful during the process but it was exhausting for me (Richard maybe not so much). 

I don’t tell you all this for you to feel sorry for us or to scare anyone away who is considering adoption, but this is the reality and I think it may have been helpful for me to have a better feel for the process so that I could have been better prepared.  And let me tell you that the day we got our completed Home Study Report in the mail was such a relief.

Next time we will talk about something a little more fun…

Galatians 5:22

Friday, June 29, 2012

Our Adoption Journey - Part 2

He's not here yet so we will tell you a little more about the journey so far...

So now that God had our attention, we went to work.  We met with the lawyer in Kalamazoo and although he is great at what he does, this situation didn’t feel quite right to us.  He deals with a number of relinquishments and situations that involve Childrens Protective Services.  This just didn't seem like what God had planned for us.

Because of this, we decided to meet with an adoption agency.  But before we did, we had dinner with some friends from church, Paul & Beth.  This couple has two beautiful adopted daughters  along with two remarkable biological sons and we wanted to hear more of their story.  Dinner was a wonderful time of fellowship and we learned much about their two different adoption experiences.  This is also when we heard about Adoption Associates (AAI), the agency in Jenison that Paul and Beth had used to help them adopt each of their girls.  It is such a blessing to have close friends who have experienced this journey.  Our church has a number of couples who have adopted and they are all great sounding boards and always willing to listen and answer questions.

In February of 2011, right before a vacation to Florida for our 10th anniversary and to celebrate with my grandparents on their 50th, we set up a meeting with the AAI.  Right away this seemed like a good option to us.  Adoption Associates is a Christian agency based in Michigan and has 20+ years of experience serving adoptive parents like us, birth parents like Sophia, and children like baby Cooper.  They offer too many services to mention here, but we were primarily drawn to the services offered to the birth parents – pre and post placement counseling seemed to us like a big benefit.  We wanted our birth mom to be able to have her needs met too.  AAI is a place that really helps the birth parents to make the right plan for their situation rather than just steering them toward adoption.  We felt like this made the adoption opportunity more of a planned choice. 

If you are looking at adoption, we would definitely recommend that you check them out at www.adoptionassociates.net. 

Next time we’ll get into a little of the the nitty gritty about the process of adoption...

Ephesians 1:5

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Our Adoption Journey - Part 1

Many of you already know much of our story, but we thought it would be fun to share and have this blog as a place to look back and remember the beginning.  So this is the first of 10 posts to tell our story.

We started down this path in December of 2010.  Kristen Wisen stopped by the Bank to talk to me, Candice – this was a little bit of a surprise all in itself because I don’t usually have visitors.  So imagine my further surprise when Kristen said “there’s a baby”.  My mind went blank, my stomach dropped, and my heart was in my throat J.  Kristen’s sister, who has 2 adopted girls, worked with a lawyer in Kalamazoo who had stayed in contact with her.  When her sister received the call about this baby - she called Kristen who in turn thought of us.  Mind you that we had not even been thinking about adoption.  Don’t get me wrong, we had been married for 9-years and were wondering if God had a child in our plan, but adoption seemed out of reach.  The next few hours were a whirlwind.  I called Richard and we talked and decided to call the lawyer.  Because of the situation, everything needed to move very quickly.  We were not prepared at that point to move forward with this opportunity, but God had started us on a journey...

Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know that plans I have for you," declares the Lord,  "plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans for hope and a future."

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Dad's Day

Another Wednesday is upon us and still no baby Cooper. Everyday that I pass by his room I always say "hello Cooper" or "goodnight Cooper" or I'll simple ask him what he would like to do today. I know that he will come soon, but I'm not sure I can wait for the day and neither can Candice. I really can't hardly wait til he's old enough to go to Disney World and a to see a Tigers game! I can picture us there on the rides at Disney and going to our favorite spots. I think 3 years old is a great age and Candice seems to think 5 is a good age to go. We might have to split the difference. :) 

It's a good thing he didn't come this week as I'm getting over a sinus/coughing spell. I went to the doctor today because I was starting to get on Candice nerves with my coughing and she said if I wasn't better I would have to wait outside the hospital room if he came. So I went and the doctor says I have a low grade childrens ear infection and my cough is okay and with antibiotic will go away in a week. Oh he also said I can hold the baby if he comes because I'm not contagious, whewwwwww!

At the doctor, Candice told me I also had to ask the about my big toe (she say's it looks disgusting) and a couple of spots on my back.  He told me neither were anything that I needed to worry about - both were likely "gifts" from my parents.  That got me thinking about what Cooper would inherit from me.  Well with adoption there won't be anything genetic like my blue eyes with brown hair (graying ever so slightly) or my one short leg.  But I do think there will be a few things - like letting his socks hang off the end of his feet, riding the pony while he drys after a shower, and of course a love for Mickey Mouse and the Detroit Tigers.

Well that is all from this soon-to-be dad for now. Cooper stay strong in your mommy's tummy and Sophia stay strong too, as I think about both of you and pray for you with each passing day. Psalm 139<- My favorite passage.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Mommy Monday's

Another Monday is here and still no Cooper. I really have to tell you that this waiting is SUPER hard. But the Lord continues to provide patience and so many things to keep us busy. Over the weekend we worked diligently in the yard and house to get ourselves caught up on work. We both want to be able to spend as much time as possible with our little guy once he arrives! Who wants to have to mow the lawn, weed the flower gardens, dust the furniture, or clean the toilet when they could be holding a baby? So again we are READY J

I was hoping to share some pictures from our church shower a couple weeks ago, but haven’t connected with the fabulous photographer yet. These will be coming, but for now I decided to share some pictures of the nursery instead. Everyone has been curious about our “theme”. Well…I’m calling it a hodge podge. We chose a vinyl tree decal that I LOVE before we even knew Cooper was coming. The majority of the decorating has revolved around this tree, but we also have a little Noah’s Ark, a little polka dot, and a little jungle mixed in. Above the tree I’m thinking about applying a life verse for him in the vinyl lettering. 




We have been filling the closet with goodies – clothes from size 0 to 24-months, hats, diapers, and toys (like this little Mini Cooper J or Daddy's favorite the Detroit Tigers baseball and bat). Everywhere I go I seem to find something I think he HAS to have…usually is it something small or on sale, but Richard has resorted to making me raise my right hand and vow not to enter any stores that sell baby gear without him!! (but I try not to make any promises)
The crib is ready for him,


but I think we will let him spend a few weeks in his cradle. Isn’t it beautiful…Richard’s Grandpa Norm made it and we are so thankful for such a beautiful gift! In addition, my Grandma “Dot” painted the picture that is hanging over his crib – again soooo special! He will also have a hand painted/created mural of a tree branch (by “Aunt” Crystal) with decoupaged leaves that contain encouraging scripture references from the ladies who attend the baby shower – what a blessing!

 The changing table is stocked and organized by bins…clothes, bibs and burp clothes, socks and paci’s, blankies, and extra bedding…I know all of you moms out there are laughing about how this will likely not be so neat in the very near future. And I’m already wondering if anyone has any advice on how not to lose those tiny little socks in the wash??


Of course we had to have the video monitor. This is a much talked about item in our circle. Many of the new moms have one. Mary Wisen has a great post about this on her Normal Shmormal blog. I can’t wait to watch him sleep and play from the comfort of my own bed.

But, my favorite part of the room is our glider which is seated within arms length of the book shelf. I enjoy reading everyday and can’t wait to share this passion with Cooper J

Well, as anxious as I am for him to be here, I’m so very glad that God has Cooper safe and sound in Sophia’s tummy. His birthmom is very laid back and pleasant and is such a trooper. Any time we’ve asked her how she is feeling, she always says something like “Great” or “I’m doing good” or “everything is fine”. Up until today, the biggest complaint has been that her sleep had gone down to about 7 hours a night which is still pretty great being this close to the due date. As of today, her hip is starting to hurt and making it harder to walk – I know this probably means that he is moving lower and starting to press on her all over. And for me it also means that I need to stay on my knees praying for her because she holds a special place in my heart as Cooper’s birthmom and I’ve come to care deeply for her. Not only has God given us the opportunity to adopt Cooper, but He has given us the opportunity to get to know Sophia and her family which has been such a blessing so far. So thankful for the Lord’s goodness and for Cooper’s growing “forever family tree”!

Psalm 1:3 He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dad's day to post

Every Wednesday, as my beautiful wife asked me, will be my day to post on our journey of adoption and my thoughts. I must admit in the back of my mind I was already thinking of starting my own blog. How great minds think alike. Today we had another ultrasound, and baby Cooper is still growing and now is 7lbs 8oz. His heart beat was good and everything looked great except for the fact that Candice wants him here now :). Everyday that goes by makes her want Cooper here more and more and I must admit, I want to hold him now more than she does, I think!?! I know that God has a plan and when he is ready He will delivery Cooper to us. Are we ready? Lets' see, nursery done? Check, diapers? Double check, Clothes? Check.Toys, books, stuffed animals?, check. Friends and family ready? Quadruple check! This past week I've been reflecting on how blessed we are to have so many wonderful people around us who love us and pray for us through this journey we have taken. I say "Thank You" to all of you who mean the world to us and have been praying for us in our journey. As I end my first blog entry, I look at the title of this post and realize that I soon will be a Dad! I look forward to the journey with my best friend and bride!

1 Thess 5:17

Monday, June 18, 2012

Mommy Mondays

For those of you who have decided to follow along and don't already know this - I will be a working mom.  However, after my baby leave, I will only be working part-time and I will have all day on Monday with Cooper.  That said, today was a tenuous day at work.  I find my mind drifting to he and his birthmom so often.  I wonder how she is feeling...is she sleeping well...is she uncomfortable...is he still growing (because he is already such a big boy).  This makes it slightly hard for me to concentrate.  Today it got so bad that eventually I just texted Cooper's birth-grandma to see how everything was going.  She was quick to respond that everything is going well.  I'm so thankful to have an open relationship where the birth family is so understanding and wants to keep us up to date and is as excited for us as we are. 

So hopefully within the next week or two...or three...I will begin posting about how Cooper and I are spending our Mondays together.  I know in the beginning it will be a lot about holding and feeding and rocking and reading.  Don't get me wrong I intend to thoroughly enjoy that time with him.  But I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't secretly waiting for the Monday we can go out bug hunting together!

Until then, I will "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let my heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" Psalm 27:14

Saturday, June 16, 2012


EXCITING TIMES

So it's hard to believe that in just a few short weeks we wll be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary (for those of you who are wondering, I checked and that is the year for a steel gift...).  We have shared so many joyful times together over the years.  And even though 11-years is quite exciting...the real excitement will come in the form of a gift from God - a baby boy named Cooper! 

Our wedding anniversary is June 30th and baby Cooper is due July 7th.  Our gift is wrapped in a non-traditional way as he is currently growing in his birthmom's tummy.  We've decided to start this blog to share the EXCITEMENT that we are experiencing on our adoption journey.  This will be a place for us to share special moments with our Forever Family!

Here's a preview of our little guy...